My Brother Is on Drugs! Help!?

Question by A6b72R: My brother is on drugs! Help!?
I live in Melbourne, Australia. He is 28 (so he doesnt live with us). He used to be on drugs but he got of them, now he is on them again. I am not sure what he takes because noone will tell me. I think it is Exctasy and something else mabe. I am not really sure. We cant afford to send him to a rehab because it is expensive and we are not wealthy enough to afford it. I can’t confront him about it because he isnt around to do so. Him being on the drugs is sort of tearing our family apart. I think some people have confronted him about it and told him to call a help line or go to one of those groups for others that on drugs but i dont know because no one tells me anything. My family is trying to fix it but they are doing a very BAD job at it. Is their another option to help him!?
I am sorry if this is in the wrong topic

Best answer:

Answer by john g
You could set him up and have him arrested. Some jail time would definitely straighten him out.

Answer by Michael
Your brother is 28, and an adult. There is not a lot you can do. Neither you, nor any other member of your family can force him to stop. Even if rehab was an option, financially,the person has to agree to go, and feel ready and willing to go.

You could write him a letter and say you have learnt he is taking drugs again, that you love him and are very concerned. I am sure if you look in the phonebook you will find numbers for addiction counselling and possible for Narcotics Anonymous (like Alcoholics Anonymous) but for drug users. You could include those numbers/addresses in your letter.

The suggestion the other poster made here that you call the police and get him busted is a very bad one indeed. There is loads of drug taking in prison, should he be sent there. In any event making his life more difficult by getting him a criminal record is not liable to help anyone, least of all him.

It is difficult, from what you say, to determine how serious and extensive this problem actually is. There is a huge difference between casual use of for instance pot on weekends when he goes out to a dance, or something like that, and daily use of a drug such as heroin.

Problem drinking and drug taking virtually always has roots in issues with a persons family of origin. It is clear from what you say here that there is a lot of division in your family. Your brother might be the obviously dysfunctional one, who is acting out by taking these drugs, but you need to ask yourself what the root cause is. The drug taking is likely a symptom of wider issues in your family.

I would question why your family are so focused on your brother’s drug problem at this stage and what else is going on in your family than they are not focusing on as a result. Is it really him and his drug taking that is tearing the family apart or is it the behaviour of someone else – one or both of your parents – that is the real issue?

I took drugs as a teen, and a great deal was made of it by my parents about my shocking behaviour and how bad, decadent on and on I was. I was made to see a counsellor, and with hindsight I am amazed at the ineptitude and lack of professionalism of this person for not picking up that my real problem, root problem, was not the drug taking but the behaviour of my parents. They were constantly arguing with each other, constantly threatening to divorce each other. I now realize many years later that my father has a personality disorder, (NPD) he is an utterly impossible individual.

It sounds as if your brother does not wish to be in contact with your parents, he is an adult, that is his choice. But unfortunately as a minor (I assume you are under 18) you are caught up in the cross fire and he has cut off contact with you too, as you still live with them.

It would probably be an idea to find a good counsellor yourself and discuss this entire business with them.

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